TOXIC RELATIONSHIP AWARENESS, SUPPORT AND HEALING
Lately we have been hearing more and more about toxic relationships and the narcissistic personality type. These are not exclusive to our intimate relationships, but may also include the relationships we have with other family members, our friends or work colleagues.
But how do you know if you are in a toxic relationship, when the signs are so subtle that you wonder if maybe you are being overly sensitive or the other person is just in a bad mood again?
Here are some of the common signs to look out for which may indicate that you are in a toxic relationship. I will cover more within my private Facebook Group and blog posts.
- They will try to control your life. This starts off slowly as they test your boundaries to see if you give in. If they happen to get away with it, they will soon dictate what you can or cannot wear, and who you can speak to or socialise with, amongst many other rules that they decide on for you.
- They are very skilled at manipulating people. If something goes wrong, they will have you believe that it’s all your fault - even if it was something that they said or their behaviour that caused it. This is classic gaslighting behaviour, which can be very confusing and make you doubt what you know to be true.
- You never feel comfortable with just being yourself. You are constantly on edge and find yourself second-guessing everything you do. You go over everything in your mind first before you speak, as you are so worried that they will take something the wrong way and get angry with you.
- They become very jealous of your friendships with others, and in time will try and isolate you so that you become more dependent on them. And on those rare occasions when you are ‘allowed’ to go out without them, they will need to know where you are at all times.
- You may be accused of cheating on them despite there being no evidence to back this up. They may also demand to go through your phone or check your emails and online messages in the hope of 'catching' you out.
- You feel too scared to voice your thoughts or opinions, as you’ve learnt it’s easier just to go along with whatever they say to keep the peace. And nothing ends up getting resolved anyway, so what’s the point in even speaking up?
- They lie to you, even over the smallest things which you have caught them out on. And now the trust is gone, and you doubt everything they say to you.
- You never feel at your best when you around them, and are often unhappy, anxious, and lonely.
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Please click on the link below if you would like to read my blog;
The Red Flags You Must Look Out For Which Could Save You A Lot Of Heartache Down The Track
In some relationships, the signs are more obvious as the abuse is very real. And as hard as it may be, you realise that you need to cut ties with this friend or family member, or leave your partner as you no longer feel that it’s a safe or healthy relationship for you to be in.
But you stay a little longer in the hope that your situation will change, especially when you see the occasional glimpse of the person they used to be when you first fell in love with them. And so, you now convince yourself that if you just continue to love and support them they will turn back into the person they were in the beginning and things will be wonderful between you again.
Sadly, this is not always the case – especially if they remain in denial that there is a problem and refuse to seek help. So instead you are now in a relationship where the abuse – whether it’s verbal, emotional, physical, or financial continues to escalate, but your self-esteem and confidence plummets as you continue to appease them just to keep the peace.
I was in this situation myself only a couple of years ago, so I know all too well the confusion and anxiety you feel when the person you fell in love with is no longer the same person that you are in the relationship with today.
I recognised many of the red flags while I was in that relationship. Maybe not always straight away as some of the signs were very subtle, but definitely over time as my relationship progressed. Now looking back, I realise that I stayed much longer in this relationship than I should have. I was ‘blinded by love,’ and regret not leaving as soon as I noticed his anger and the abuse escalating. But I stayed and made excuses for him, until the day when it was almost too late.
Since then, I have worked hard to not only heal my heart and soul but to try and understand why I would choose to stay in a relationship that wasn’t healthy for me. I went into that relationship as a strong, confident, and independent woman, who never would have tolerated that behaviour in any of my previous relationships. I have since been on a journey to change my mindset and I have worked on my boundaries so that I never experience this again with anyone else, no matter how much I love them
So if you are struggling to break free from a toxic relationship, or you have already found your way out and are now trying to accept, understand, and heal, let me be there to support and guide you. I am offering a free 45-minute consultation which is completely confidential. During our time together, we will have a look at what has been going on for you in your relationship. I will let you know what options are available to you because everyone’s situation is different, and my coaching services are customised specifically for you and what you need. This will also give you the chance to ask me any questions that you may have.
And if your situation is not safe for you and your children to be in, we will talk through what steps you need to take so you are able to leave as quickly as possible. Taking the first step can often be the hardest. But I have been there and fortunately come out the other side of it - and you can too.
Never stay in an unhealthy relationship because you think it will eventually get better. Things will only change once you take action, and it’s only then that you will be on your way to living a happier and more fulfilled life.