So you have met this wonderful guy. You’ve been on a couple of dates that went really well, the chemistry was there, and the conversation flowed. He even told you how he couldn’t wait to catch up with you again over the weekend just before he got into his car and drove away.

But….he still hasn’t called. You gave in and sent him a text a few days ago to say hello. And…you are still waiting!!

You are feeling very confused as to why he’s now ghosting you after what seemed to have been a promising start. So, what went wrong?

Have you ever wondered why you can’t seem to get past the first couple of dates with men? Or they start off very keen but then it ends up leading nowhere?

I am sure this has happened to all of us at some stage during our dating life. And it is so disappointing, when we can see the potential in a relationship but the person we’re interested in can’t for reasons completely unknown to you.

I have listed some of the main reasons which may lead to a man changing his mind about you, as there’s nothing like being forewarned before your next date with them!

• Many women mistakenly believe that because things didn’t go any further that it’s because the guy is a ‘commitment-phobe’. Sometimes this may be the case, but in fact it usually just comes down to him not feeling a deep emotional connection with you – or the potential for one to develop over time. When you don’t feel this connection with another, you are unable to form a bond between you which makes it very easy just to drift apart.
• He needs to feel safe and that he can trust you. Most men are guarded when it comes to expressing their innermost thoughts and feelings, especially if they have been brought up thinking that they must always be tough. So they may feel vulnerable when they start to open up and talk about themselves, which can be a scary feeling for them. It’s very important for him to be with someone who is not only easy to talk to, but they won’t judge or think less of him when he does talk about himself and his past. By creating a safe space for him to just be himself, he will feel comfortable about opening up to you and tell you things that he would never tell his mates or colleagues at work.
• Nothing emasculates a man more than feeling that you don’t need him in your life. Men need to feel that they can be your ‘hero,’ by providing for you or being there to support you in a crisis. So even if you are a strong and independent woman who can look after yourself, let him feel that he’s not only an important part of your life, but that you need him in your life too.
• Be the type of woman that men respect. This is done by being a high-value woman, as it gives men guidelines on how you expect them to treat you. And it will also weed out the men who will either use you, or only see you as a short-term fling. Men must feel respect for you if they are to think about a long-term future with you in it. They want to feel proud of the woman by their side whenever they are out with you or introducing you to their family and friends.
• Click on the link below to read my blog on
  How Becoming a High-value Woman Can Make You More Successful When Dating and In Your Relationships
• Never feel the need to ‘dumb’ yourself down for a man. Men love nothing more than to have an intelligent conversation with a woman who is interesting, has her own opinions, and is not afraid to speak up if she’s unhappy about something (calmly of course!)
• Now we all know that men are visual creatures! This is because the amygdala (which is the emotion control centre in the brain), shows higher levels of activation during an MRI scan in men than women when they both viewed the same sexual image. So, basing it on this fact, if you would like to attract and keep a man interested in you, not only do you have to connect with him on an emotional level but on a physical level as well. This doesn’t mean that you have to be the sexiest woman in the room. It’s more about making an effort with your appearance by not wearing trackpants every time he comes over, or putting the effort in when you are getting ready to go on your dates. And for women who have been married for many years, simple things such as shaving on a regular basis or surprising him by wearing a sexy little outfit to bed will certainly make a difference, as well as to help you feel a little more confident.
• Do not chase him! You have no doubt heard this many times before, but it’s so important that you leave the chasing to him. Men commit when they feel that you could be the one for him, and he’ll do whatever it takes so that he doesn’t risk losing you to someone else. By chasing him or bombarding him with text messages when he hasn’t even replied to your first one you will only make him feel pressured. And it may also give him the impression that this is a sign of things to come. Instead lean back and give him the space to miss you, as he can’t miss you when he’s hearing from you regularly throughout the day.
• Keep up the life you had before you met him. If you had hobbies or interests that bring you joy, don’t stop pursuing these just because you now have someone new in your life. Continue having your regular family catch ups, or the monthly Sunday brunch with your close circle of girlfriends that you always look forward to. Never put your life on hold for someone else, or drop friendships just because someone new has entered your life. You will not only feel happier, but you will also come across as a more interesting and well-rounded person if you have a life outside of your relationship. And in time, your new man can always come to your weekly Salsa dance class with you – if he also shares this interest, or slowly integrate into your family and social life. He will respect you more if you allow him to have his own life too instead of expecting to live in each other’s pockets. This will also give you something interesting to talk about when you next meet up, and a chance for him to miss you when you are not always around.
• It’s very important for you to not only connect on an emotional level, but on a physical level too if you want the relationship to last long-term. Having an emotional connection first and enjoying each other’s company without sex always being involved, will give you a higher chance of the relationship lasting than if it was based on sex alone. Another thing to keep in mind is to never use sex to get your own way or as an attempt to bring you closer. No one likes to be manipulated, and this is a sure-fire way of guaranteeing the end of your relationship. You will have a higher chance of succeeding if you have fun together (in and out of the bedroom), form a deep emotional connection, and make the time to be intimate with each other on a regular basis.
• And lastly, be yourself. Don’t try to be someone different just to impress a man. For starters, you won’t be attracting the right type of person to come into your life if you’re pretending to be someone else. Eventually, your differences will become apparent as you won’t be able to keep up this pretence forever. If you’re not into football it’s okay to let him know this, as long as you don’t try to stop him going to watch the occasional game with his mates as that wouldn’t be fair on him. You want him to fall in love with who you really are inside. And any man who tries to change you, isn’t the right man for you.

A FINAL NOTE

I hope you find the advice in my blog to be helpful, or at least something to think about in your dating life. I will cover more within my coaching sessions, in my private Facebook Group; ‘Relationship Support for Women’, as well as in future blogs that I will write around this topic.

If you would like my support and guidance in your dating life or if you need clarity around whether a new relationship is the right one for you, please book in for your free 45-minute consultation so we can discuss this further.

Everything we talk about will be completely confidential and in a non-judgemental space. I look forward to hearing from you soon.